Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Sergio Leone's Arcade Fire Music Video

My Body is a Cage from JT Helms on Vimeo.

Arcade Fire + Sergio Leone = indie rock cowboy opera.

Leone's Once Upon A Time In The West might be my favorite of his films, and my favorite western period. Regardless, it's not an easy one to recommend. The viewer has to be down with Leone's snail pacing, his tight close-ups on squinty faces, and his overall broadness of scope. But damn, is it ever worth it.

Monday, August 30, 2010

Life Commercial - "Protein"

We've come a long way. Not in our cereals, but in how we pronounce the word "protein."

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Tuesday, August 17, 2010


Facebook is evil.

Facebook is evil. Reason #418: people you don't know well or haven't spoken to in many years comment crassly on your inherently-meaningless internet activity.

I responded quickly, and in anger, and it was wrong. Here's what I should have said:

I'm sorry. Let me help you understand WTF I'm saying: it's funny because "Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World" is a film that just came out, so what I did was reference Billy Pilgrim, another fictional person with the same last name, from the widely-known novel "Slaughterhouse Five" by Kurt Vonnegut.

No? Okay, I guess I'll just go back to being an unimportant part of your life, therefore incapable of ruining any aspect of it.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

P-o-t-a-t-o-e Jr. is running for Congress.

One of my earliest memories is standing in line with my Mom while she waited to vote for Dukakis in '88. I remember giggling because "Dukakis" sounded like "caca." Poop humor is the apex of comedy when you're two. That, and funny faces, and tickling, and Murphy Brown. I loved Murphy Brown. After Bush won the election, I wrote a little ditty entitled "Barbara Bush lives up your tush," which I know my Dad taped me singing, which means there's a lost recording of my first poem floating around somewhere.

Anyway, Ben Quayle is one bad-ass mother:

alternative campaign video:

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Epic Douchebaggery

Achtung, this video is not suitable for work or play:

So, you've watched the clip and now maybe you're thinking, "Why? Why would you choose to share this girl's performance with friends you supposedly care about? With strangers even? You're not a good person, Rennie." The only semi-reasonable defense I have is: it's fascinating, isn't it? Watch it a few times. Allow it to claw against your brainpan. No sarcasm here: I'm drawn to this video in the same way that I'm obsessed with Thomas Kinkade paintings and Howard Roark monologues and all things that ring so absolutely totally fucking hollow that you can't help but respect them, almost.

I'm jealous that I'll never be as blindly self-assured and confident in my art as the girl in this video. I don't foresee a day when I'll stand in front of a well-manicured audience, bravely spurting nefarious liquids from my vagina. And I think we can all agree that this is a good thing. Finally, insecurity works in my favor! It's comforting to know exactly who you don't want to be, even if you're not entirely sure who you are. You know?


Amusing website! http://totallylookslike.com/

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Basil Marseaux for Governor

I would not vote for this man.

Apparently this is not a joke, unlike that awesome Yo Yo Master.

Check out Basil's YouTube channel.

God bless us, we say amen, have a good day. See you at the polls. Have a good day.

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Also, this blog is in serious need of some GIFs

Pee Wee Herman
this one is relevant to every moment of my life.

How am I not myself?

This is what happens when you spend too long writing insincere cover letters.

There Are No Men Out There

You taking notes, ladies?

Kanye West Tweets As New Yorker Cartoon Captions

I'd like to consider myself a trend-setter, since Kanye West joined Twitter a few days after I did. He "tweets" with such frequency and delivers such hilarious gems, I naturally had to start following him. (I have a growing suspicion that it's actually Tracy Morgan tweeting for him...)
And now some genius has taken his tweets and put them as captions for New Yorker cartoons. Priceless.
You're great, internet.
Check them out here!

Monday, August 2, 2010

Things Hobos and Moms Say

  • Don't you hate it when you get a shopping cart with a wonky wheel?
  • And who's this charming young lady? Aren't you going to introduce me?
  • Don't worry, honey: daddy will eat whatever you can't finish.
  • I'll be right here waiting for you after school.