Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Best of Whatever

The big pop cultural moments of 2009 have already been voluminously covered by Frost, Chester, Kantrowitz and Schwartz, or as I like to call them: Frestowartz? Schwantrochestfro?

I’m going to go ahead and throw my tuppence in anyway; God knows I love beating horses to death.

Presenting my indiscriminate “Best of 2009” list:

Best Sleeping Position: On your stomach with one arm stretched out under the pillow and the other tucked against your chest, fetus-style.

Best New Fruit Snacks With The Worst Name and Packaging Ever: Florida's Natural Au'some Fruit Stiks. Two questions: 1) Does that strawberry have fangs? 2) Is that orange coming on to me?


Best Spot To Think: At the bottom or top of any long flight of stairs.

Best Place to Propose to Me: In the Enid A. Haupt Garden next to the Downing Urn behind the Smithsonian Castle on a bench facing the carousel on the Mall in Washington, D.C. preferably in October when the cherry blossoms are blooming.

Best New Addition To My Vocabulary: Bejuggle: To outwit by trickery or deception; to cheat. Outrageous impostor! Fool, dotard, oaf! Did he think to bejuggle me with his preposterous gibberish! –From Mardi, by Herman Melville.

Best Texture: Horse nose—it’s like velvet, but softer!

Best Pseudo-Curse: Sweet Honey in the Rock!

Best Quebecois Food Item That America Has Finally Noticed: Poutine. Yes, we’ve had gravy fries for a while, but we’ve been leaving out the cheese curd.

Best Take Away Show: The Tallest Man On Earth does These Days.

Tallest man on earth - These Days (Nico Cover) - A Take Away Show from La Blogotheque on Vimeo.

Best Awkwardly Phallic Newly Discovered Animal Species: Blind Cave Eel.


Saddest Truth: Oxford American Dictionary’s Word of the Year is Unfriend.

1 comment:

  1. my mom walked in when I scrolled past the penis eel and she got mad. Any holy hell that take away show is amazing.

    ReplyDelete