The Battle of the Beards ended last night, with both parties congenially calling a draw and shaving at the same time. Naturally, this meant a facial-hair-photo-shoot was in order.
Phase One: The Modern Goatee - Traditionally, a goatee consisted solely of hair on the chin, but most people today include a mustache in the definition.
David really wanted to get rid of that pesky mid-cheek area, in order to hide his lack of connectors. To compensate, he really let those sideburns shine.
Note the fullness of Matt's goatee, allowing it to encompass his warm, supple lips.
Phase Two: The Imperiale - Traditionally defined as a mustache with a "soul patch" of any size.
Matt looks like Wild Bill Hickok or an extra from a Buster Keaton film, while David looks like Inigo Montoya or an extra from Pirates of the Carribean: At World's End (you know, the movie where you left the theater saying "I can't believe I got my hopes up for that one").
Phase Three: The Mustache - Burt Reynolds. Geraldo Rivera. Tom Selleck. Creepy Uncles You're Not Sure How You're Related To But You Just Go With It. The Mustache has an illustrious history, and we're proud to stand in the bristly shadow of greatness.
Yes, the contest is complete, and from looking at these pictures I think we all came out winners. That includes even you, dear reader.