Monday, July 6, 2009

Batman 3

If I were Batman, I'd be pretty bummed out too.

There's an ever-growing list of reasons why a third trip to Gotham City would be ill-advised, the main one being that our trusted tour guide (a.k.a. director Chris Nolan) ain't really feelin' it.

Understandably so. Dark Knight was a pretty unruly film, running over 150 minutes long with two major super-villains to wrangle. And if you don't kill the Joker off in one movie, it's sort of mandatory he be in the next (what with him being the Clown Prince of Crime and all). Let's also not forget Heath Ledger's buzz-worthy performance, and his tragic death. To say the least, recasting doesn't sound like a fun task.

Our only hope lies in Nolan's decision to take a break from Gotham and work on a new film, a blackmail thriller entitled Inception. Then he'll be totally refreshed after purging himself of all things Bat-related. Oh, wait... both Alfred and the Scare Crow are in it. The guys who played them, I mean.

Regardless of Nolan's involvement, a third Batman installment feels pretty inevitable, since most studios will pump out sequels of successful films until they die a slow and popcorn-infused death. There are all kinds of outlandish rumors circling the interweb, about Johnny Depp or Eddie Murphy playing the Riddler. You stupid, stupid interweb.

My two-cents: don't use The Riddler unless there's an incredibly original angle to it. I don't want to see another Ace Ventura in question-marked-up green spandex, nor do I feel like seeing another super villain trying to out-fox the Bat with morality puzzles. That was kinda how the Joker was dealt with, and it was a cool departure from his usual "I turned this abandoned toy factory into a slaughter house!" type of escapades.

Who do I want instead? Poison Ivy, as played by Amy Adams.

Stop your scoffing and think about it! They made the whole "evil chemistry" thing work with Scare Crow, so we're already willing to accept Ivy's crazy plant-antics (plantics?). And she's compelling as hell: she's a tree-hugger turned evil. She's green gone bad. Throw in some global warning quips and you got yourself a hot and prevalent super villianess, just in time for summer!

Maybe Wayne enterprises has something environmentally conscious in the works, and she's hired on. Then something goes terribly awry and she shifts from bookish vegan to sultry Bat-hunter! Yeah, I'll just let David Goyer figure it out.

But Amy Adams would be perfect. She excels at geeky and adorable fumbling, which would work for her alter-ego, but she can also be sexy as all hell.

I'm reminded of a scene in The Big Sleep, where that girl working at the used book store goes from bashful to bombshell in the span of twenty seconds (watch the whole smoldering scene, or just at the 2:27 mark for the transformation). Amy Adams would nail that.

Make it happen, movie gods.

No comments:

Post a Comment